CAT-astrophe!!
by Pinky and the Brain
Summary: Because you asked for it....we continue the chronicals of Ron's hairy accident! Hermione confesses all, Harry is dreaming about redheads and WHAT is RON doing in the girl's dormitory????? Find out....


Disclaimer: J.k Rowling is the best writer ever! And AaRON is a CJJL name. (she's obcessed…Am NOT Bwain, are too, am not, are too, not, too, not, too…ignore us…not, too, not, too, not…)  
  
As/N: Well we left off with Snape yes? (Yeah I wote da hole chapter!) Pinky shut up or I will have to physically hurt you. X-Men rule! (wrong story Bwain) errr I mean Harry Potter Rules! (Yeah right) *Brain grabs a giant pencil and wacks Pinky on the head* Just read the story.   
  
Okay, before we begin, we'd like to remind you that all text between stars is Ron's alter ego, 'Mind', talking. We know it can be rather difficult to read but we don't know how to make the text come up in Italics.   
  
  
Part 2:   
  
Before Snape knew it, the bell rang for the next class. He COULD NOT be caught cuddling a cat; (even a cute orangey Ronniekins kitty) so he placed Ron on the table and waited for the other teachers to come in.   
  
"Oh Prof. You don't have to put me down," meowed Ron "**I thought we hated Snape** Shut up you…"  
  
"Oh don't meow kitty…I'll take you as soon as Minerva leaves. Can't have her seeing me petting you, can we? Don't want her thinking I'm soft…Of course I don't actually care what she thinks but…."  
  
Sure enough Professor McGonagall came striding in, in her brisk manor.   
  
" Serevus, you haven't harmed the cat, have you?"  
  
"NO, I haven't touched your stupid feline, Minerva, now stop pestering me! I, UNLIKE some, have important things to do."  
  
Professor McGonagall scowled. "Like reading your Potions book upside down?" she said sweetly. In the haste he had taken to get rid of the cat he didn't notice that his book was-bottom side up.   
  
"Err-I am -experimenting in some new information--- osmosis theories pertaining to study information with ---the book upside down---I think it might enhance a persons ability to memorize the information."  
  
In Professor Snapes mind: 'Did that sound as lame as I think it did?'  
In Professor McGonagall's mind: 'That is such an interesting fascinating idea…he is so smart and handsome…**deep sigh**…'  
  
Shaking her head Professor McGonagall, shook her dreamy romantic ideas away (Snape and McGonagall, Bwain? That's GROSS!! Pinky, it's a comedy stop, whining…)  
  
"Yes, well I have decided to let Hermione Granger take the cat. She seemed anxious to do so and no one else wants him…Snape why have you just turned that **interesting ** shade of green?"  
  
"Errr---must be a side effect to reading the book up side down. Do whatever you want with the cat. I don't care."  
  
"YAY!!!" meowed Ron. "I get to stay with Hermione! I get to stay with Hermione… **and this is the being I'm supposed to be trusting to get us back to our human form? Oh brother, we are really lost for good **"  
  
Professor McGonagall picked up Ron and placed him in the nook of her arm leaving the room and a sulky Snape behind her, waving good bye to his wittle Ronniekins from behind his upside down Potions Book.  
  
Ron felt a little sad…but the thought of living with Hermione WAS rather grand. Cuddling with Hermione, purring with Hermione, SLEEPING with Hermione…  
  
'** WILL YOU GET YOUR MIND OUT OF THE GUTTER!!! You're supposed to be thinking of a way to get us back!!*** I know, I know, Mind. But think, it's Hermione… **Why do I know I'm going to have to take matters into my own paws-I mean hands….**'   
  
Just then Professor McGonagall reach the Gryffindor common. Saying the password she marched in saying, "Miss Granger! Are you here?"  
  
Hermione, who was huddle in a corner with several other Gryffindors, turned around quickly. "Yes, Professor?"  
  
"I believe you said that you would be willing to take care of this cat we found?"  
"Of course," said Hermione excitedly.  
"Well you can. We found no one else willing to take him."  
"Thanks!" she said, scooping Ron into her arms.   
'Aaaahhhhh, Hermione's arms…' thought Ron, shutting down the part of his mind that was shouting and threatening to kill him.  
  
As soon as Professor McGonagall left, Hermione took him over to where the others were sitting.   
  
"Do you think we should tell her?" asked Ginny.  
  
"NO!" said Harry. Ron yawned and looked over Hermione's arm to see what they were talking about. A part of his brain thought Harry was just a little too close to Ginny for comfort.   
  
"But he could be in trouble, " murmured Ginny nervously.   
"Look if we tell Professor McGonagall that Ron has skipped three classes, she's going to doc points from Gryfffindor and give Ron detention till next Chirstmas. We'll give him to the end of the day and if he doesn't show up then we call her," said Hermione scratching the cat/Ron on the head.   
  
'Why Hermione I didn't know you cared… **oh please don't start that again**'  
  
Hermione jumped as the cat she was holdinging started squirming around.   
  
"Oh, kitty don't worry. When Ron gets here he'll love you so much…"  
  
'But Hermione, It's me' meowed Ron desperately. All he got was a tummy rub in return. Not that that was a bad thing…  
  
Later in the evening Hermione was still holding the now sleeping Ron-cat in her arms. "We should find you a name kitty-witty," she said playfully.   
  
Twisting her head around she called reluctantly to giggling group of girls in the corner.   
  
" LAVENDER ,PARVATI, COME HERE AND HELP FIND A NAME FOR THE KITTEN!" she yelled. After all she thought, they all deserved to share in naming the cat.   
  
Parvaiti had lifted the now awake and yawning Ron out of Hermione's lap and was rubbing his nose against her cheek. "I know," she said "why don't we can call him Rose Petal? He's soooo cute…"  
  
Ron looked up at Parvati and thought ' You-are-not-naming-me-ROSE PETAL!'  
  
"We are not naming the cat Rose Petal, Parvati," said Hermione flatly.  
  
'Good on you, Herm,' Ron thought.  
  
"Ooh I know-"said Lavender in a dreamy voice"-how about Seamus "  
  
"Oh gross, look never mind you two…You guys go read Teen Witches and I'll find a name for the cat," said Hermione shaking her head at the two dreamy drooly girls. Really, Seamus? Didn't the two of them neck enough as it was without naming animals after each other? Gross. She knew she could think of better name…yes the cat needed a short name, but one with some charisma, and maybe…oh I don't know …one that began with the letter 'R'…  
  
Smiling she took the Ron-cat up to her dorm and sat down with him on the bed.   
  
"Oh I wish I could call you Ron. It's the perfect name for you-"she said in a low voice"-but then every one would know."  
  
'Know what Hermione?' Ron thought mischievously.  
  
"Oh how I wish I could tell him everything," She said dreamily.  
  
'Tell me what Hermione?'  
  
"Hey! I could tell you-"  
  
'TELL ME WHAT HERMIONE?!!?!?!?!?'  
  
"-I mean its not like you'll tell him or any thing."  
  
'JUST TELLME ALREADY!!!! **My my, Ronniekins aren't we getting agitated*** Mind don't you start!'  
  
But Hermione just sighed and said, "My you do meow a lot. Never mind, its dinner now so I'll tell you tonight ok? Bye."   
  
And she left so Ron curled up on her bed.  
'Well I guess there's nothing I can do now…Just have to wait until she gets back. ' And so he started to snooze while he waited for Hermione to come back and tell him all of what she had to say.  
  
Meanwhile at dinner…  
  
The Gyffindor's had gathered in the main hall huddled together hoping the ever-watchful eyes of McGonagall wouldn't notice the missing Ron.   
  
"He didn't show up for Quidditch practice, Hermione," said Harry nervously.  
  
"I know," said Hermione.   
  
"You watch the Quidditch practice?" asked Seamus looking up from Lavender's neck, which he had been kissing.   
  
"Yeah---I mean NO! Why would I watch the Quidditch practice? And when Ron was playing? I have no reason to watch Quidditch practice especially when I know a hot sweaty Ron is going to be strutting all over the place---"   
  
Harry raised an eyebrow. "Oookayyy, I'm not going to try and think about what you mean by that. But the point is that Ron is definitely missing and I don't think its just skipping class. I say we go to McGonagall."  
  
"Are you sure we couldn't just wait till morning?" asked Hermione "I mean what if he just skipped to Hogsmeade?"  
  
Harry looked between Ginny who was pale and trembling and Hermoine's pleading eyes."  
  
"Okay,okay…but if he is just at Hogsmeade I'm going to kill him when he gets back."  
  
"Deal," said Hermione revealed that Ron was off the hook till morning. Death Harry was far better than death by McGonagall. Besides she thought, maybe he really was at Hogsmeade. Maybe he was getting something for her. Maybe he was thinking about her right then…or maybe he was flirting with some girl at the Three Broomsticks. Maybe THAT'S why he hadn't come back. Yes if he was at Hogsmeade he had better hope Harry killed him first, because though Harry's murdering was surely easier than McGonagall, Death by her hands was surely worse. 'I won't kill him, I'll transfigure him, into a rat or a weasel or a cat…CAT!" she had left her cat alone in the girls dormitory.  
  
  
"Look, I have to go check on the cat," she said standing up.  
"We have to go too, we need our beauty sleep," said Parvati and Lavender.  
  
"Oh, Lav, you don't need beauty sleep…" said Seamus droolingly.   
  
Hermione felt her stomach turn. Those two could make Madam Pomfry sick.   
Turning she left for the dorms with the Ditz Witches behind her ignoring how Lavender kept looking back to blow kisses to Seamus.   
  
c@t*c@t*c@t*c@t*c@t*  
  
  
"Hello, Kitten," called Hermione after Parvati and Lavender had rushed to the bathroom for a 'midnight makeover'.   
  
"I'm glad you showed up, you're a lot nicer than Crookshanks; he's my other cat. But don't tell him okay?" she said laughing and flouncing on the bed.   
  
'Oh I would NEVER do that, Hermione. **And we're back to the drooling**'  
Ron meowed mischievously.  
  
"I can't wait for Ron to see you, kitty. He pretends to hate cats but I know he'd like you..."  
  
'Trust me Herm, I'll never look at cats the same again.'  
  
"Maybe I SHOULD call you Ron! You have orange fur just the color of his hair."  
  
'Good idea.'  
"But no, maybe not.."  
  
'O come on Hermione, what possible reason could you have to not to call me Ron?' he thought licking his paws. ' **Ron will you stop doing that!? Your getting hair in our mouth!** I have to keep up appearances **Oh yeah like Hermione's going to notice if we have a bad fur day.** Look Mind, just butt out. **Uh huh. We have look all pretty pretty for the Cinnamon girl…**" Ron felt a sudden rush a anger at his alter ego…  
  
"Oh, kitty why are you growling? Did I hurt you?"  
  
'Oh, Herm you could never do that…Unless you really DID kiss Victor Krum.'  
  
Finally Hermione picked up the Ron/cat and snuggled him into the nook of her arm. "Would you like to know a secret, kitty?"  
  
'YES YES TELL ME TELL ME TELL ME!!! **Will you please get a grip Ron?**'  
  
"You know, Ron, the boy I've been talking about?'  
  
"YES YES GO ON, GO ON! **Cat's don't drool Ron, only dog's**' Ron ignored his alter ego.   
  
"Well," she said as she pulled her pajamas out of her chest "We've know each other forever…and at first he was a real pain in the neck."  
  
Ron felt his ego plummet something like five thousand feet.   
  
"…But then he saved me from this troll in my first year and we became best friends."  
  
Ron's ego lifted about a hundred feet but he still didn't get his hopes up.   
  
"And then we got to fourth year and he got this incredible crush on a girl named Fluer. I wanted to kill her, kitty. You know like chop her up in little pieces and feed her to Crookshanks."  
  
Hermione, with her pajamas in hands, came and sat down next to the cat/Ron who was licking his paws despite protest from his ever-whining alter ego, trying not to get excited.   
  
"But you know kitty, she left. And he stayed. And after he realized that I wasn't in love with Victor, we were friends again. That made me really happy. But you know what else kitten?"  
  
Ron looked up trying to pull an indifferent face, which came out as a sort of a half drooly twist.   
  
"I love him."  
  
Ron froze.   
  
"I really do kitty," Hermione said as she got up to change. Suddenly Ron made a flying leap, that would have made a gold in the Cat Olympics and landed squarely on her shoulder.  
  
"Ah, *giggle*, you want to play…" But Ron wasn't listening. He was too busy kissing the girl of his dreams (well as best you can when you're a cat).  
  
'Shelovesmeshelovesmeshelovesme!!!!!!' he purred as he planted kitten kisses all over her neck.   
  
'She loves me, she said so, she loves me… ***Ummm…Ron? Ron? HELLLLOOOOO? Are you there? Ron, get some control! Has he shut me down????..*** Hermione's in love with me, Hermione's in love with me ***Oh boy, I've lost him…***'   
  
But Ron was too wrapped up to hear.  
  
Five minutes of tickle kisses later, Hermione took the still drooling Ron/cat off of her and placed him on the bed. Parvati and Lavender returned giggling from the bathroom, looking like twin sisters from Frankenstein's Bride.  
  
'What have you two Ditz Witches done to yourselves?' he thought, the horror of the scene in front of him squashing all romantic thoughts instantly (which was real feat considering Ron had spent the past two years fantasizing over Hermione…not even Snape could do THAT)  
  
"What have you two dears done with yourselves?" gasped Hermione.  
  
"It's a facial cream foundation super deluxe beauty potion! Guaranteed to keep men at home and at your feet."  
  
'Yeah, because they take one look at you and die of fright,' thought Ron.   
  
"Ooookaayyy, what ever you say. I'm going to the bathroom to change. Don't do anything to the kitten," said Hermione shaking her head.   
  
A few minutes later she was back as and the rest of the sixth year Gryffindor girls began to filter in. A half an hour later Hermione locked the door and told everyone to get ready for bed.   
  
Ron began to get nervous. 'Umm, Mind? Are we being locked in the Girls dormitory? **Of course we are you git! We're staying with Hermione remember?** '  
  
'Omigosh. I'M BEING LOCKED IN THE GIRLS DORMITORY!' He thought desperately. But just then Hermione decided to change the shirt was was going to sleep in…  
  
'Oh yes…I'm being locked in the girls' dormitory…' he thought mischievously…  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Ok we can stop here because we are very polite writers. Lets just say cats can see in the dark and he's in the girls' dormitory at night and well you get it right?   
BWAHHAHAHHAHAH!!! Nah, Nah nayahnah nah!!!! You won't know what happens until we say so…Don't worry we'll post the next chapter right after finals…sometime in mid July….hehehehe :D We are sooooooooo awful. "But Bwain what SHOULD we name the cat?"  
"That's what we're asking the reader, Pinky."   
"But but Bwain…"   
"Pinky do NOT force me to physically hurt you!"   
  
Okay readers, pick a name! Especially you Rin Berry because you review and you read X-men, which makes you extra special CJJL. (My X-men work is under the name Opaque but, one's a Gambit story and we know you like Logan and Rogue {not our personal favorite} and the other's a Scott story, but if you don't like them please don't start reading out Harry potter STUFF!!)  
  
They're Pinky, They're Pinky and the Bwain Bwain Bwain bwain bwain…didididumdumm dum dum   
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



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